Friday, November 8, 2013

On Saying "I Miss You" + Thankful Project {Days 7&8}

FM and I text throughout most of the week.  It’s hard to get anything else in when you’re on completely different schedules in completely different time zones, in completely different corners of the world, but we make do.  Texts during the week, calls on the weekend, Skype when we can. We get by.

One thing we have really been trying to work on throughout his time in BCT and AIT, but mostly as he got ready to depart for S. Korea, was trying not to upset one another because of the distance.  It’s not an easy task, by any means, especially when you are running on those opposite schedules and you just plain ol’ miss being able to tell your partner those little things about your day.  But we have been doing a great job of it.

The main way we combat getting all sloppy and nostalgic?  We try to limit saying we miss each other to about once a month.  No I’m not kidding.  Okay, I know, you’re thinking that
that’s terrible and we should be able to say what we want to each other when we’re feeling it.  And I agree with you, to a point.  But limiting the “I miss yous” not only makes it really meaningful when we do say it, but cuts down on those times when we would otherwise put the other in a melancholy mood. 

Example: FM texted yesterday morning saying he was listening to Journey while hanging out with his battle buddies, and that it made him miss me (using up his “I miss you” card for the month).  We love Journey. Journey always reminds us of each other because Journey is awesome and we have epic battles belting out Steve Perry’s greatest tunes in the car. When I hear Journey, which is pretty often, I think of FM too and get a little bummed.  It’s totally ok. It’s to be expected when you’re 7,000 miles apart.  But saying he missed me at that point, knowing that it was one of the only times I would hear it this month, made me feel way better than it normally would have because I know he saved it up and really meant it for that moment when he really did miss me.   

So I guess my main advice here is, as much as you do miss each other during a hardship tour, deployment, training, or whatever else may pop up in this insane military lifestyle, try to save those "I miss you"s for the times that really matter.  It’ll make a world of difference in how you see each other and your relationship, and make you truly enjoy those moments when you realize you have something so great it should be missed.

And now to catch up on that Thankful Project!

Day 7: A Job
Every job I have ever had has come just at the right time.  Either I was so fed up with the place I was working for or something happened and I needed to leave.  Whatever the case, I have always been pretty lucky at being able to make ends meet and find something bigger and better to do next.  The two best jobs ever though was definitely working for Ann Taylor LOFT throughout college and working for a dentist’s office after grad school.  

Even if we look possessed, these are some wonderful
dental elves that I will forever be thankful for!
I worked for the LOFT for 5 years, and it became like a second home to me.  They were wonderful, amazing, supportive ladies (for the most part) and we worked like an awesome team (again, for the most part, there’s always a winner employee you can’t stand!), and I got a great discount and therefore an awesome wardrobe. The dentist job just fell into place on a whim, and it certainly was not what I was expecting to do when I got my masters, but it came at just the right time when FM and I were just about at our wits end with being unemployed and just about to not be able to make our rent payments.  I honestly cried my eyes out when they hired me; I was so incredibly relieved.  And once again, they were spectacular people to work for and be with. I could not have asked for a better group of people to be around everyday! 

Day 8: Words
There are words I will never forget.  My grandfather completely out of his mind and sick with dementia and, unbeknownst to us, MRSA, just simply stated, “it all works out” as he stared at the clock on his kitchen wall that had just stopped moving.  He passed away two days later without saying much of anything else comprehensible.  

It has, and will, stay with me forever.  So simple. So poignant. So eerie. So true.  Ever since I have tried to turn to that phrase when I hit a rut, slam into a wall, or get let down.  I have been known to blurt it out loud, talking to myself.  And I say it in my head pretty often too.  It’s a constant reminder that not everything is within my control, and sometimes, I just need to go with the flow and let it be.  He taught me many things, but this is by far the best thing he ever gave me, and the one I will be able to pass on someday to my own children. It all works out.

Don't forget to be awesome and link up with Whit today!

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