Tuesday, January 7, 2014

I'm a Rosie...

Well now that the holidays have officially come and gone, I can finally say this… I am SOO beyond exhausted.  Not from the shopping, the wrapping, the bouncing around to different houses, the eating, the drinking, or really anything else; I’m epically tired of answering the questions of every friend, family member, acquaintance, or perfect stranger that feels the need to remind me about how “tough” this holiday must be for me.

Actually, to be honest, this holiday season was not so bad.  Yes, FM was gone.  Yes, I had my moments where I got nostalgic for our tiny five foot tree & him to be here. Yes, I certainly did not enjoy being alone at midnight as I watched the sparkly ball make its inevitable decent to the flashing 2014 on my TV on New Year’s Eve.  But really, it was not all that difficult to get my head around because I had long ago accepted that FM wouldn’t be here for those things, as did he. 

However, having to walk chin up with my emotional battle shield into 1,000 slaps in the face in the form of prying questions and comments as reminders of my apparent solitude and loneliness this season was an extreme test of fortitude.  How I did not end up screaming at the top of my lungs this season is a blessed miracle from whatever deity you choose to believe in (I’ll accept all forms of Gods and angels as responsible for this one).  

I am well aware that part of this Army wife life is going to include the occasional question, awkward glance, or raised brow, and for that I say, “bring it on,” because on any normal day talking about FM, or his tour, or our military life is just that, another normal day.  But what I am honestly having trouble getting over is the world’s notion that I am some helpless 1940’s dame anxiously awaiting my soldier’s return, pining away as I knit and bake cookies all day unsure of what to do without him around.  To that, I say “BOO,” with a big O-O. 

I am a military wife and I have my own life outside of that military.  I have a great support system and a loving husband who wanted nothing more than to be here for the holidays but made the choice to sacrifice his time for his country this year instead.  Yes, sometimes it gets tough, sometimes I get lonely, and sometimes I’m even sad.  But I do not pine; I do not sit in wait.

I am a Rosie, like our resolute friend the Riveter. I am a tough woman who can forge on while her husband isn’t around, picking up the slack that inevitably remains in his absence.  I can hurdle through the days until he comes home because I’m stronger than letting the times spent alone eat at me.  I do not sit around idly waiting for his return.  I do not break down every time I miss him. And I certainly do not need a reminder of how tough this is supposed to be for me.  FM’s being gone for the holidays was just one more time I needed to pick up my super strong drill and power through!

It seems the outside world likes to view us milSOs as broken and helpless, huddled in the corner waiting out every difficult tour, assignment, training, or deployment.  But the reality remains that when the time comes we pull up our hardworking overalls, tie on the red handkerchief, and power through as best we can just like anyone else! The strength is not magic, it’s not a lack of feelings, and it’s not something we should win an award for… it’s just playing the hand this life deals you.

To the rest of you fellow Rosies out there, you wonderful, strong, amazing milSOs, a big HOOAH (or Oorah/Hooyah)!  I promise I’ll try never to ask you any questions that make you want to scream or to question your strength to keep pushing forward, just try to promise me the same.  

Have a great Tuesday all. It's good to be back!! 

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